Find yourself before you find your partner

So after a long term relationship one can find themselves being single again. One gets use to always having someone around and even adapts their life around the partners.

 Suddenly the realisation of one deciding on what platform to use to find a partner after healing has become more and more scary.  There are now dating websites where men and women no longer date like the old days.  We can certainly have virtual relationships and don’t even have to meet.

 Many people might shake their heads and shrug their shoulders feeling superior that "something like that" would never happen to them - when in reality it already has, especially if they are trying to find love on a dating site.

For the vulnerable and lonely, scammers offer the irresistible hope and belief that they have found their true love and soul mate - without a question or a doubt. They are being offered the promise of life, love and riches beyond their dreams.

In most cases, the scammers log into chat rooms and on Christian dating sites posing as handsome and beautiful people. They set up fake and phony profiles using pictures from modeling sites from all over the net, littered with false information that can range from something as simple as an appealing (but false) weight, to something as diverse and personal. They spend hours, days, weeks and sometimes months, chatting up and luring their naive targets with Internet intimacy.

As far as the victim is concerned, they believe what they are experiencing is the real thing - that the picture of the person they chat with is real. The person they are chatting with, while revealing their deepest desires, really does care about them. The person they are chatting with loves them.

So once a "relationship" has been established, it doesn't always seem odd that their cyber soul mate may need a few rands. The innocent cyber partner becomes a cash cow for the scammer.

It is therefore important to go back to the old methods of dating. Face to face communication counts a lot in order for one to get a genuine sense of what the partners intentions are.

The sound of one hand clapping

People clap hands for different reasons, sometimes hands are clapped for acknowledging an achievement by someone or even clap hands to display disbelief. The clapping of hands makes a massive sound when is done by a lot of people at once. Clapping of hands can make a rhythm , clapping of hands can be used as a musical instrument.

 I somehow remember my clapping of hands from when I was small. We used to do it during athletics day to either acknowledge the athletes as they dash off for the finish line. We clapped hands while we sang songs to mock the other teams while encouraging our team.

I have watched even my nephew clap his hands and the first surprise he got when he realised it made a sound. I could also remember how wide his smile got each time I clapped for him to encourage him to take his first step, then the next then the next.

 The sound of one hand clapping after doing something positive in a public space reassures ones confidence. Even babies can relate to the sound and know that they have done something right. I can already imagine the sound of hands clapping when my name is called out to be conferred my BTECH degree.

  

Daylight prostitution!

I wonder what goes through the mind of person who decides; this is it I have no other options except sucking men’s penises and opening my mouth or legs to herpes, syphilis and many other dodgy diseases exchanged through multiple sexual relations as a way to make a living.

Some people are genuinely in need of the money for the survival of their children and families, but is there such a lack of jobs in Cape Town to justify the spark increase in prostitution? Is it justifiable for people to frown at prostitutes who are simply making a living just like them? 

I have noticed that some prostitutes have become so desperate and are slaves to the system to a point that they have no shame in standing on the side of the road in broad daylight in the Wetton area waiting for cars to stop by or hoot for them to do business.

However, do we recognise prostitution only when someone stands on the corner and waves to get your attention? How different is it when a person goes to a club and gets free drinks and food and in return at the end of the night she gives it up. There are men and women who live the lifestyle of sleeping around for freebies and yet we never look down or judge those people, but we are quick to shout out hate speech and frown when we see women and men standing on the corner  trying to make a living.

My opinion is that we should not look at prostitution through a single lens. Your friend, sister or brother who changes partners every week or sometimes everyday  as part of the club scene is doing just that Daylight prostitution!

Not all who wonder are lost.

Is it such a bad thing to be the black sheep of the family? To take a detour in life, enjoy being stress and responsibility free. I guess many would look down on a person that doesn’t see the urgency running around trying to build a career, put food on the table, buy a car etc. The prodigal son or daughter is the one who takes a short left on life and squanders the parents money through varsity and hides the horrendous results at the end of each term.

However a prodigal son or daughter has the opportunity to learn from their mistakes. An example we have is that of the prodigal son in the bible. The prodigal son squandered all his inheritance on the good times just like many students do at varsity, but the important thing is that he learned from his mistakes and reconciled with his father and family.

Parents should never give up on their children, because even those who are lost and wandering away without any direction may one day be focused. I know of a friend who has lived the life of the prodigal son, with no hope of him being educated and having his own family. It seemed as if he was wandering without any direction and many had concluded he was a lost soul.

Today he is a father and a loving husband who has completed his degree and pursuing a postgraduate degree. Today he makes more money than the people who looked down on him and judged him for being a lost soul.

We all learn new things every day.  Through my blog I have the opportunity to share my experiences and also learn from others.

I am a person who is dedicated in seeing the fruits of the spirit found in Galatians 5:22 of the bible exemplified in the lives of people from all walks of life. I believe in the views of the many greats such as Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Ghandi, Steve Biko, Martin Lurther King Junior and others.

Martin Luther King Junior’s speech illustrates my philosophy in life. I believe that South Africans deserve to have true freedom, justice, brotherhood, equal rights and being one nation. We cannot just live by dreams we therefore need to speak out for those who can’t speak for themselves and find solutions to assist the South African nation in its endeavors to develop into a first world country.

 A great visionary once said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.”  If our dream in life is to make the world a better place, we should all take some initiative in making a change in the communities we live in.